Scared

So this female lawyer really scares the hell out of me.
She is 'fierce' personified. Horns would look good on her.

Don't get me wrong, she's not a horrible person.
I don't know her very well, but from our encounters, she is actually kind, sweet and is very funny.
Contrary to what I thought, she won't bite.

She just looks really...
Intimidating.
The complete opposite of 'approachable.'

She exudes strength and power.
I find her really pretty.
Although I would suggest less eye makeup to soften her look.
But then again, as a female lawyer, do really want to look SOFTER?

Anyway, one time, she approached me and said,
"Why do you look so scared all the time?"

To which I replied almost automatically,
"Because you scare me."

She laughed.
I guess I wasn't THAT scared of her after all.

Alms

I hate street children.

That sounded horrible, I know. But it's true.
But before you make you judgments, I'd like to clarify a couple of points:
I don't hate the individual child.
I feel sorry for the fact that for some twist of fate they ended as such and truly believe that they don't deserve or should be where they are now.
I am aware and I do strongly agree that they should be afforded help or even salvation.
I know poverty is a serious problem which should be dealt with A.S.A.P.

I guess what I really hate is concept of children begging in the streets.
Now if they were PLAYING on the streets instead, I'd love them dearly.

It's all because of this question:
TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE ALMS?

If you give alms, you've given them their next meal thus saving them from starvation.
But then you encourage the begging.
They will never leave the streets.

However, If you don't, they will never leave you alone.
(They are more stubborn than the most persevering marketing person ever.)

I'm still on the fence on how I should deal with street children.
But mostly, I give them change just so they will go and leave me alone.
(Now you can judge me.)

Here in Calgary, it's such a relief that I don't see any street children at all.
But I'm not saying this city is completely free of people begging for money.
Everyday I see this man asking if people can spare him change for COFFEE.
Some ask change to buy CIGARETTES.
Oh. Yesterday, someone asked me for change to buy BEER.

WTF?
In the Philippines, if you don't have money for coffee, cigarettes or beer,
then don't have it!

(I did give him a bunch of pennies and a couple of dimes only because he was already drunk and he was bigger than me. I could have just ran away but prior experiences taught me that drunk people at train/bus stations are like bears - you shouldn't run when you see them.)

Now I miss the street children in Manila. I don't hate them anymore.

Salsa Don't

I love to dance.
I did ballet when I was nine, pep squad when I was twelve and thirteen, dance group till I was sixteen and clubbing with lots of alcohol until now.
My ballet teacher even told me that I have the ballerina feet. I just don’t have the heart… and the guts to wear a tutu past puberty.

I’m not great. I don’t even think I’m good. It’s just something that I can and love to do. So when my new friends invited me to a Latin Night to dance Salsa, I was more than willing to go – despite the fact I’ve never ever danced Salsa in my life.

Lesson number one: there are basic steps to learn. Unlike clubbing, you can’t just have a bottle or two and feel real good. It needs classes, lots of practice and less alcohol. Needless to say, at my first night to salsa, I felt like an idiot.

So I went to a Salsa class. My friends said I can probably get in to the advance class since I was a fast learner. They taught me a couple of steps to get me through the screening and I actually got in. And here is how the class works: they make you form a circle and partner up; they show everyone the routine; then make you try it; and then again with the next guy. It was supposed to make you be adaptable to different partners which make you learn better, if not faster.

I had varied experience. Some were really nice and gave me tips. Some were less experienced or as clueless as I was so any progress was sheer luck. Some were really old and some even smelled funny. But one person really left an impression. He told me: “You should already know this because you’re in the ADVANCED class”.

So I tried the beginner’s class and that didn’t go very well either.

Lesson number two: it takes two to tango. Apparently, it takes two to Salsa as well. No matter how many times they show you the steps that you can do ‘on your own.’ Because unless you’re with a partner, that’s all the Salsa that you can do. And it’s not a lot of fun.

Lesson number three: the guy leads.

So there I was, at beginner’s class, my partner can barely follow the beat and I’m supposed to let him lead. It’s like the blind leading the deaf. It was painful.

I strongly believe that I am the master of my destiny. I let go of things I can’t control. That's why I feel so frustrated and powerless because my enjoyment is made to depend on the skill of someone else.

That is when I raised the red flag. Salsa is not for me.
I am an independent woman and I don’t need a guy.
I will try belly dancing instead.

Directions to Valenzuela RTC

I was to attend a hearing in Valenzuela RTC.
The day before, I asked around for directions.

Atty Jun: Alam mo yung dulo ng EDSA?
Siela: Yung SM North?
Atty Jun: Hindi... magleleft ka pa.
Siela: Ah... yung papuntang NLEX...
Atty Jun: Hmmm... mejo... Alam mo yung munumento?
Siela: ah OO!
Atty Jun: Yung dulo ng EDSA, munumento yun. Tas mag left ka sa McArthur Highway. Derecho ka lang until SM Valenzuela. Before SM may maliit na street. Dun yung RTC.
Siela: ah ok. Cge, alam ko na.
Atty Jun: Dun ka nalang sa SM mag-park kasi onti lang ang parking sa RTC.
Siela: ok. Sige, I know na. Thanks po. (left his office)

Yun lang. Wala akong kotse.Pano kaya yun pag-commute?

Siela: Hi mario, pano mag-commute papuntang SM Valenzuela?
Mario: Sakay ka ng any bus na papuntang Malinta, baba ka sa royal mall, then jeep papuntang McArthur Highway.

Patay. I had no idea what he's talking about.

I ended up taking the LRT til munumento and then I took a cab.

Finally, a Legal Career

Within only 10 weeks, the Sales Associate of Payless Shoe Source became an Associate Solicitor in the Office of the Solicitor General of the Republic of the Philippines. From working the cash register, I was now drafting pleadings. From selling shoes, I was now attending hearings.

It wasn’t easy. In my first week of work, I had a lot of practical realizations:

· For the first few days in the office, my secretary is my boss. She told me what to do.
· If you wanted to be treated as a lawyer, dress like one.
· A lawyer must have at least 1 black corporate suit.
· Office slippers are a necessity.
· Announcements are best posted in the elevator.
· One must ride the elevator once in a while so as not to miss out on anything.
· You can buy everything in the office: lunch, snacks, fruits, coffee, underwear.

The Canadian Hottie

It is summer here in calgary so it can be really warm sometimes.
(though not as warm as the in the Philippines, and not as humid...)
When temperature reaches 28celsius you can expect to see a lot of meat outside.
Particularly white meat, coz they LOVE to bathe in the sun.

We don't have beaches here, so people sunbathe wherever.
You'll see half-naked people everywhere. Even downtown!
I remember seeing 2 blondes walking down the street in bikini tops and pek-pek shorts.

But it is not always a pretty sight.
One time, our neighor, an old lady, was watering her plants in a t-shirt and a bikini bottom.
Susmaryosep.

ANYWAY, come to think of it, it has never been a pretty sight for me.
(I did not consider the bikini blondes sight mainly because i'm a girl.)

Until this one:

He is cute. He is lean. He has nice abs...


And he reads! Awww...

(no. i did not talk to him. i just sat across him and stalker-ishly took his picture. sorry girls. i don't know his name, nor will i recognize him next time i see him with his shirt on.)

Not Destined for Stampede Yet

on thursday, July 10, it was my day off so i decided to go to the stampede park. it'll be over on monday and i won't have any more day off till then. so that will probably be my only time to go to the ever-famous stampede.

but then it was cloudy all day.
and it rained.
nevertheless, i met up with my sister in DQ (where she worked) as planned.

before leaving the house, i was seriously contemplating about whether or not to bring the cowboy hats. this almost made me late for the bus.
so i was hurrying to get to the stop on time, then i realized i forgot to bring the camera. (but i did bring my cellphone and it has a camera so i thought: ayos lang no need to go back for it...)

anyway, the driver forgot my stop so i got off a little farther than i was supposed to. it was there when i realized i might be having a bad day..
but i shrugged it off so i would not further attract any negativities. (as i have learned by watching "the secret")

so i finally met my sister, we rode the train and headed to the stampede.
by the way, rain has started to pour. and we were really hungry.
so the thought of going to the mall instead, has occurred to us.

but i wansn't losing hope. this might be the only chance i have to go this year.
so when we got to the erlton stampede, we got out.
we were standing on the entrance, it was raining, we were so cold...
and paying $13 for something we wouldn't enjoy anyway didn't sound good to me at all.
so we turned back and headed to the nearest mall.

my parents were lucky enough to go to the stampede, on a sunny day, free of charge.
here are some of their pictures to show you what it's like:

there are rides, which of course, they didn't try.

my folks in cowboy hats

a rodeo show

ps: i asked one of my co-workers why the horses and bulls on rodeos go berserk. and she said that: "their testicles are tied, plus they have someone riding their back. so basically it's just an animal having a bad day."

Close encounter with a shoplifter

so i was working at the till (aka cash register. i only discovered that after 2 weeks of working here in canada...) and this tall gangsta' looking guy comes up and asks how much these (he was holding a pair of black airwalk dots) shoes are. i did a price lookup in the register/till and told him it was $49.99. he asked me if they were on sale and i said no. then his wife, who was beside him, gave him the 'no-it's-too-expensive-we're-not-getting-that' kind of look (apparently she wears the pants in the relationship) and handed me a dora-the-explorer flip-flops (presumably for their kid) i rung it in, and told her that it was $12.99. and then she goes: "but there's a sale tag on it for $3.00". the sale tag was kinda loose so i kinda was doubting it. but then again, tagging has been a mess lately so what the heck, i decided to change the price.and then i asked if that was all they were buying. she said yes while giving her husband an annoyed look.

so she paid for it with a credit card, i had her sign the receipt, put the dora flipflops in a bag, put her copy with it and put the store copy in the drawer.

when i looked up. the husband was 10 feet away from the store holding the airwalks.
i was stunned and confused. is he taking those shoes away?
he looked back at me and we stared at each other for like 2 seconds and he walked away.

he was already gone when i realized what actually happened.
i didn't even considered running after him. (well he was 2x my size so i guess deep down inside i knew that running after him by myself wouldn't do me any good.)

but, anyways, i did tell the manager what happened. and he didn't suggest that we run after him either. (though i think we should have. the manager was a tall guy and he could probably take that moth@$f#$k@r down.)

i couldn't believe what happened. minutes after, i still feel so bad. maybe i should've said something instead of staring at him. or maybe i should've chased him (but keeping a good distance...) but the manager told me not to worry much about it.

hope kharma will get to that a#@h$#e

Downtown (Mis)Adventure

On our second day, we went to downtown right? Took a bus, then a train...

Downtown was like Calgary's Makati Business District. And 7th Avenue was it's Ayala Avenue. Yun nga lang, instead na walkway, may free train ride all along the 7th Ave.

Anyway, maganda naman.

We got our Social Security First. It was fairly easy. As usual, maraming pinoy. Parang isang group ata ng mga OFW yun.

We finished mga 11 na. at nahihilo na kami sa gutom dahil maaga kami nagbreakfast. So we walked to find a nice fast food resto. siguro naka 3 blocks na kami pero wala parin kaming nakikita. puro fine dining. and since 2nd day palang kami sa canada, we didn't want to splurge. so tipid muna.

We entered Chinatown mall. hmmm... icky sya. as in parang lumang viramall. di ko inexpect...

the chinatown mall at a distance

So lakad na naman... We were getting bugnutin na, tas si mommy ang bilis pang maglakad. Para syang energyzer bunny. lakad lang ng lakad...

Then we saw this diner. mejo shabby looking. pero sige na nga. mahihimatay na ko sa gutom eh. So nagorder na si mommy. mukang mura lang eh. less than $4 a meal. So we looked for a spot and there i realized, shet, nakakatakot sya ha. it was poorly lit and the walls are stained with i don't know what. imagine, the first stage of diner-dash, in real life. and though i didn't see any people, feeling ko somewhere behind it, may naka-higa na homeless person. and si mommy na CR person, di man lang nagattempt maghanap ng CR.
as in seryoso, mas malinis pa kumain sa mga karinderya along kalayaan. at least dun alam mo na kahit papano, winawalisan yun araw-araw. eh ito, mukang may areas na di na napupuntahan ng tao.

it was too late to backout now. so we settled by the door kung saan naiilawan ng natural daylight. and hope na walang riot na mangyari sa loob.
we totally stood out sa place na yun. family, tas ang ayos ng suot, malinis... buti nalang 2 aussies na mukang turista also walked in. so di kami totally alone sa loob.

Anyway, dumating yung food and it looked good. super laki ng burger. and ang daming fries on the side. but syempre, yung fries lasang pinirito sa lumang oil. tipong yung oil na bago 3 days ago. actually, kung sa malinis na restaurant yun, pwede pa sya. kaso, sobrang dumi dun who knows kung anong nangyayari sa oil during the night.
But the burger was pwede na. i was super gutom na di ko nalang inisip kung san galing yun at kung anong processo sya nanggaling before. i imagined burgoo...

The day after, we shared our adventure kina ate josie and kuya bong. Sabi nya, tambayan daw yun ng mga homeless and don't we dare go into that place again.

daddy enjoying downtown

Cosme and Potipot Island

Because I was leaving, we planned to go to galera.
Kaso sabi sa weather forecast, may low pressure area somewhere near mindoro.
So naisip namin, sa north nalang pumunta.

Potipot Island

(photo from clickthecity.com)

We discovered this island called Potipot (or Putipot) somewhere off the coast of Uacon in Zambales.
We planned everything 1 day lang, lahat ng sources namin sa internet ko lang nakuha.
(thanks to travel bloggers)
Hinanap namin kung san yun, we planned the bus ride, reserved rooms...
Fully booked pa nga yung resort na gusto namin at first, yung Dawal Resort.
So dun kami sa Sunbloom nagpa-book.

We were leaving the next day na.
At naka-pag empake na ko.

But on that same night, sabi ng PAGASA, may low pressure area sa Zambales.
Ayos ah. Exactly 24 hours ago, nasa mindoro yun eh.
Sinundan talaga kami. Bwisit.

So we didn't go.
Buti nalang.
Kasi naging full-blown bagyong Cosme na sya,
at namamahagi na ngayon ng relief goods sa mga tao dun .

Pero pramis.
Pagbalik ko dito sa Pilipinas, pupuntahan ko yan.

Saved by Google

I never thought how useful Google was till a few weeks ago.
I mean, I use it for research and all,
but this time I discovered another very practical use for it.

One afternoon, I was working on an order when the phone rang.
It was for me.
She said she got my name and number from the DLSU data base.
She belongs with a company looking for people with business related experience,
and since I graduated with a degree on business management,
she said I'd be a qualified candidate for their project.

She said they were looking for people who could do part time work on their project,
What exactly that project was, she'll discuss on our meeting.
But I could earn 20-30 thousand per month.
I asked how long would that project be, for I would be leaving the country soon.
She said they have an office in Canada, that I could take it there.

Hmm... That got me worried. And her office was in Ortigas, so that added to my hesitation.
But I agreed to meet with her nevertheless.
She gave me her name and number.
She was Pauline Tating.

After that, I continued on working with my paper.
But after a few minutes, I just got this crazy idea to google her name.
To my surprise, there was a number of blogs about her!

Turns out, she has been calling many people already with the same spiel.
And the project was a marketing strategy involving direct selling and networking!
Some of the blogs called her a scammer.
But I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt.
It may be a legit selling and networking company.

But the thing is, I was never big on selling.
Whether it was legit or not. I do not want to be involved in selling and networking.
So I cancelled my appointment. I would have just waisted my time.

Thanks to Google and my fellow bloggers,
I saved time, money and effort.

Oath Taking

2 pm ang schedule ng oath.

But we have to be there 2 hours before daw for registration.

Ano to airport?

But anyways, i was there at 12:30.

Sobrang init! Tas kelangan pumila ang guests sa arawan.

Buti nalang yung mommy ko may dalang payong.

Girl Scout talaga sya.

So we were waiting there outside.

Mejo nasigawan pa nga kami ng usher.

2pm na daw, so kelangan na pumasok.

Tama na ang picture.

Anyway, mabilis lang sya natapos.

May mga speeches tas singing of Supreme Court Hymn.

Yes. Meron pala nun. Ngayon ko lang nalaman.

Ang importante dun eh accepted na kami to be members of the Philippine Bar.

Nung tinanong nga if there's any objections, natahimik lahat eh.

Pero buti naman, wala na nag-object. Mejo lang ah.

Anyway, the order accepting us, is immediately executory.

Meaning. Wala nang bawian. Woohoo!

Around 3 or 4 tapos na yung ceremony.

Ang matagal is yung paghahanap ng parents.

Pinaiwan kasi yung cellphones and camera.

Pero grabe ha.

I was wearing high-heals and more than 4 hours na ko nakatayo.

Intense ang sakit ng paa ko.

Whenever I sit down, I get this nangimay feeling in my feet. Yung prickly feeling habang bumabalik ang dugo sa toes ko.

Tas kelangan ko pa maglakad ng 2 blocks papuntang Harbor Square kasi coding kami.

Iniisip ko palang, naiiyak na ko.

Pramis, onti nalang, my feet will bleed.

Buti nalang, my mom has driving sandals.

di na nga ko umabot hanggang car namin, pinakuha ko nalang kay daddy.

syempre, di masyadong bagay sa cute dress ko, pero I DON'T CARE.

Anyway, napagsabihan tuloy ako ni daddy about wearing those kind of shoes.

It's unsafe daw.

Hmmm... I never saw it that way.

Parang hinalintulad nya ang pagsuot ng high heels sa pagsakay sa motorsiklong walang helmet.

Pero may point sya.

Dahil paglabas ko ng PICC, gusto ko nang maghanap ng wheelchair.

Unsafe talaga sya.

First encounter with a potato

I woke up one morning and was really really hungry.
Kaso, ang breakfast namin ay sardinas.
Eversince my immersion with the mangyans in mindoro,
(where we had to eat sardines everyday for less than a week)
I swore never to eat sardines again.

I didn't actually swear.
I just feel like gagging whenever I smell it, let along taste it.

But since it has been years,
and the fact that I was really really hungry,
I considered eating it that morning.

Kaso sabi ni mommy, pwede daw ako magluto ng corned beef.
Ayos yon.
Lalagyan ko ng maraming patatas so I won't eat rice anymore.

So naghiwa ako ng patatas. Mejo nilakihan ko yung hiwa para mas masaya.
Tapos sabi ni mommy, lagyan ko ng onting water yung pan para maluto muna yung patatas.
(alam nya kasi na ang experience ko sa kusina involves fried hotdogs and lucky-me pancit canton)

Ok... done.
Nung magevaporate yung lahat ng water, mejo mabilis lang naman pala,
nilagay ko na yung corned beef.
Since mejo luto na yung corned beef from the can, mabilis nalang from there.

Ang saya ko.
Nahihilo na kasi ako sa gutom so super excited talaga ko kumain.

Until I chewed on a piece of potato.
Paksyet di pa luto.

Apparently, nung sinabi ni mommy na lagyan ng 'konting tubig,'
she had no idea on how big the potato slices are.
Dapat pala mejo above the potato ang dami ng tubig para maluto.
Shooot...

Moral lesson:
may rason kung bakit hindi magkasing laki ang patatas sa nilaga at ang patatas sa corned beef.

Burning Down Memory Lane

Since I’ve been writing since I was ten, I’ve collected a lot of journals. One sunny day, I thought: I’m letting go. I’m moving on. I’m starting a new life. I should burn my journals… pati narin ang mga letters...

So I got them out of my box (which is pretty big already) and took them out. And my mom was super happy about it. Finally, malilinis na ang kwarto ko. Nagkaka-allergy na kasi ako sa alikabok ng mga lumang papel.

Anyway, my plan was to burn them. I’ll slowly let them go, while the flame eats each and every page of my life… Para dramatic ang dating. At first I got a white ceramic vase. Sabi ni ate leah, masisira daw yun, saying. Ok fine. Minus dramatic points naman yun. Sige na nga lata ng Selecta nalang.

So I went to the back of our house.

As you can see, it’s slightly open so I figured dun nalang gawin ang aking letting-go-ritual. Tinatamad na kasi akong lumabas. Baka makita pa ko ng kapitbahay at magtanong kung anong ginagawa ko.

So I brought a candle and a stick. I started tearing each page to burn them one by one. Di ko kasi isasama yung cover kasi may plastic. Bad for the environment. Anyway, the first page I burned, nagulat ako. Ang bilis pala nya magliyab ah. At ang laki ng flame. So I waited till the flame died.

Syet. Ang usok naman. Hmmm… better keep the flame going.

So I went on and on. Tearing and burning.

Langya. Ang tagal nito ah. 30 minutes na at di pa ko tapos sa isang notebook. Mejo lang 10 pa ata yung susunod. At mejo humahangin at kumakalat ang ashes. Haay…

So I went inside muna to get some fresh air. But no. Walang fresh air sa loob. Mausok narin. Even if I closed the sliding doors, pumapasok parin sa loob ng bahay yung usok. Syet patay.

Dapat pala talaga sa labas. Kaya pala nung sinunog ni Kris si Chelsea, sa basurahan sa labas nya yun ginawa.

Anak ng… Ayoko na nga.

I got a black garbage bag and placed my journals and letters there. Isinama ko pa yung mga ashes. I tied it up and left it outside.

Ayan. Eh di wala na.