Burning Down Memory Lane

Since I’ve been writing since I was ten, I’ve collected a lot of journals. One sunny day, I thought: I’m letting go. I’m moving on. I’m starting a new life. I should burn my journals… pati narin ang mga letters...

So I got them out of my box (which is pretty big already) and took them out. And my mom was super happy about it. Finally, malilinis na ang kwarto ko. Nagkaka-allergy na kasi ako sa alikabok ng mga lumang papel.

Anyway, my plan was to burn them. I’ll slowly let them go, while the flame eats each and every page of my life… Para dramatic ang dating. At first I got a white ceramic vase. Sabi ni ate leah, masisira daw yun, saying. Ok fine. Minus dramatic points naman yun. Sige na nga lata ng Selecta nalang.

So I went to the back of our house.

As you can see, it’s slightly open so I figured dun nalang gawin ang aking letting-go-ritual. Tinatamad na kasi akong lumabas. Baka makita pa ko ng kapitbahay at magtanong kung anong ginagawa ko.

So I brought a candle and a stick. I started tearing each page to burn them one by one. Di ko kasi isasama yung cover kasi may plastic. Bad for the environment. Anyway, the first page I burned, nagulat ako. Ang bilis pala nya magliyab ah. At ang laki ng flame. So I waited till the flame died.

Syet. Ang usok naman. Hmmm… better keep the flame going.

So I went on and on. Tearing and burning.

Langya. Ang tagal nito ah. 30 minutes na at di pa ko tapos sa isang notebook. Mejo lang 10 pa ata yung susunod. At mejo humahangin at kumakalat ang ashes. Haay…

So I went inside muna to get some fresh air. But no. Walang fresh air sa loob. Mausok narin. Even if I closed the sliding doors, pumapasok parin sa loob ng bahay yung usok. Syet patay.

Dapat pala talaga sa labas. Kaya pala nung sinunog ni Kris si Chelsea, sa basurahan sa labas nya yun ginawa.

Anak ng… Ayoko na nga.

I got a black garbage bag and placed my journals and letters there. Isinama ko pa yung mga ashes. I tied it up and left it outside.

Ayan. Eh di wala na.

Ryan and Fritzie's Wedding

A woman is most beautiful while she walks down the aisle. It’s like the whole world stops to watch her take those steps.

For Fritzie, she started from Paco Park’s entrance, around the fountain, towards the chapel and inside. So kahit maliit lang yung chapel, bumawi naman sya sa pamamasyal sa park.

Since the chapel was really small, there were a lot of guests spilled over the sides of the chapel. Syempre, kasama kami dun. So tambay lang sa labas, yosi, kwentuhan…

Watch Out For Falling Dried Branches
Clockwise from upper left: Paul, Joel and RC, Joel and I, Micoy

The reception was in a garden somewhere in Intramuros. They served sushi, sashimi, maki, nachos and cheese(on a fountain) for cocktails. Located just near the entrance, of course, pag pasok, deretso pila na kami. Since the wedding was at 3pm, by the time it was over, the guests were a little hungry. Serving cocktails was a good move so that the guests won’t be too eager to go to the buffet table. They can take their time, mingle and take pictures, or the couple can do a dance number.

Yes. Fritzie and Ryan danced to the tune of Accidentally in Love. Whoa. Naalala ko si Shrek and Fiona. It was so funny. Sobrang aliw talaga.

During dinner, trivia game. The host went around and asked the guest trivia questions about the couple. If they got it right, may price. Ok that the host, Franco aka Frankybebe, went around. Kakahiya naman for the guest to go up the stage eh. In a way, may audience participation and hindi boring yung dinner na puro song number nalang.

Top, left to right: Me and Joel, Bunny and Micoy, Me and Tin
Bottom, left to right: Mon and Joel, RC and Eeza, Eeza and Mike

For the traditional bouquet and garter toss, they had parlor games instead. Which is normal, considering that no one wants to catch them now a days.

And isn't this the cutest cake ever?

Ay. Perfect na sana. Let's take a closer look...

Hmmm... May nalito. Kasi yung subject na yan, Legal Forms and ETHICS. hehe...

Overall, it was the best wedding I’ve attended so far. The garden setting was just lovely. It was organized but it wasn’t imposing and rigid. And of course, the dance number was unforgettable. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. Hehe. Just kidding.

Fictionally Working as a Freelance Writer

I got it! I got the job that I applied for. Well, it's not really that glamorous. I just get out of my bed and open the computer. No fancy office attire, no lunch outs. But the good thing is: I can do it in my own time. I can choose my possible tasks. I can even choose not to get tasks.

Oh. I don't earn that much yet. The pay's on result basis so until I get the hang of it, I won't be assigned to write on big works. I have to be patient, diligent, hardworking and all that BS. Hehe. I don’t really mind. I know we have to start somewhere.

Actually, all this is new to me. I’m used to the office setting: aching feet, annoying boss, lengthy travel time. So working thru the net seemed so… fictional? I mean I researched, wrote an essay, someone commented, I edited it for approval and passed it. I did my work, I see my earnings (which are meager still) But it still doesn’t feel real. Until those numbers transform to paper bills in my hand, I’d still feel like a bum.

But overall, despite everything, I am not disappointed. I’m extremely happy, and hopeful. This is what I’ve wished for.

Coming Out of My Shell

I’ve been writing since I was 10 – but only in private. For young people, we call it a Diary. For the older ones, we call it a Journal. I stopped keeping a journal when I was in college. I realized that if you don’t want anyone reading your thoughts, don’t write it. But I can’t help it. I must write and for that purpose, the back of any notebook came in handy. I can write, rip it, and throw it away.

I’m OC so in law school I had a to-do notebook. It’s my version of Dumbledore’s Pensieve. There I put the web of ideas from my head and organize. And since I take it everywhere I go, there’s no risk of anybody else reading it. So I put my secret thoughts at the back. Well, it’s not actually secret. It’s just that, I don’t want other people knowing what I think, my fears, disappointments etc. Plus I’m ‘emo’ sometimes, and I’m not proud of that.

One day, a classmate saw my notebook. Amazed by how organized my To Do list is, he starts flipping the pages. Since my secret writings were in the back, there was a big chance he might not see it. So I didn’t panic. But I was wrong, he saw it and read it out loud. I was so shocked! I walked out and cried. I know, so juvenile. But I felt exposed and vulnerable. From then on, thoughts when written, goes straight to the bin.

When blogging became popular, I was amazed on how these people can just write personal stuff for everyone to see. I admired them for their courage and openness. So I tried it too. At first it was just my favorite quotes, song lyrics… Like I was saying what I want to say through someone else’s words. Eventually, it felt comfortable, so I put my own writings: rantings and random thoughts.

From friendster to multiply, now it’s time to take the next step: blogspot. I’ve always wanted to write my life bio. And this seemed like the next best thing.

I know. I’m not somebody yet. But one day I will be.