Coming Out of My Shell

I’ve been writing since I was 10 – but only in private. For young people, we call it a Diary. For the older ones, we call it a Journal. I stopped keeping a journal when I was in college. I realized that if you don’t want anyone reading your thoughts, don’t write it. But I can’t help it. I must write and for that purpose, the back of any notebook came in handy. I can write, rip it, and throw it away.

I’m OC so in law school I had a to-do notebook. It’s my version of Dumbledore’s Pensieve. There I put the web of ideas from my head and organize. And since I take it everywhere I go, there’s no risk of anybody else reading it. So I put my secret thoughts at the back. Well, it’s not actually secret. It’s just that, I don’t want other people knowing what I think, my fears, disappointments etc. Plus I’m ‘emo’ sometimes, and I’m not proud of that.

One day, a classmate saw my notebook. Amazed by how organized my To Do list is, he starts flipping the pages. Since my secret writings were in the back, there was a big chance he might not see it. So I didn’t panic. But I was wrong, he saw it and read it out loud. I was so shocked! I walked out and cried. I know, so juvenile. But I felt exposed and vulnerable. From then on, thoughts when written, goes straight to the bin.

When blogging became popular, I was amazed on how these people can just write personal stuff for everyone to see. I admired them for their courage and openness. So I tried it too. At first it was just my favorite quotes, song lyrics… Like I was saying what I want to say through someone else’s words. Eventually, it felt comfortable, so I put my own writings: rantings and random thoughts.

From friendster to multiply, now it’s time to take the next step: blogspot. I’ve always wanted to write my life bio. And this seemed like the next best thing.

I know. I’m not somebody yet. But one day I will be.


Anna said...

woohoo! enjoy blogging, sie!

tynee said...

go sie!

ako naman pangarap ko na yung mga journal ko maging prang si anne frank. na someday, someone will read what i wrote and actually enjoy.

hence the boxes of journals i have. OA. :) hehe.

happy blogging.